


I'll Make It Mine

by PixiePaige



Category: Constantine: The Hellblazer (Comics)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Exorcisms, Mild Blood, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 13:42:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14695377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PixiePaige/pseuds/PixiePaige
Summary: Starbucks could literally tongue his feet the way he felt about dealing with other people right now.He’d probably end up there regardless.He could at least be bitter about it in the face of inevitability._____Or Constantine's pre-job routine.





	I'll Make It Mine

Stretching was never meant to feel so horrible. John was positive of that, wincing, lip between his teeth as he tried to carefully wrest his shoulders back into a functional position from their place, reached high above his head, fingers splayed, black ink and mottled bruises covering his forearms in a competing wash of colours.

The sun wasn’t even up yet.

Wasn’t even considering being up and yet here he was, breath coming out in a hollow whoosh of pain and gritted teeth. He’d had worse on a Tuesday morning. He knew that. But it still didn’t make the rising any easier.

He set his feet to the bare stretch of stone-modeled linoleum and hissed, the three hundredth mental note to invest in carpets not even beginning to peg itself a more prominent space on his priority list. Coffee was there, about 286 places above it. As was a cigarette maybe 3 places above that. Somewhere within the first ten bulleted priorities was the day’s schedule, its torment already scouring a hard line of something between his eyes and down the curve of his spine. John popped his wrists between his fingers as he padded to the small, open, kitchen of the flat, dirty blonde hair a mess, scarred torso even messier. He set the coffee to brew and jerked the fridge door open petulantly, premeditating its emptiness like a personal offense. He’d have to stop for breakfast on the way. Something mobile. Probably expensive. Hopefully tasty.

Starbucks could literally tongue his feet the way he felt about dealing with other people right now.  
He’d probably end up there regardless.  
He could at least be bitter about it in the face of inevitability.

The coffee maker was old. _Older_ at least. A twelve-cup monstrosity of ground beans, oversized filters, and guttural hissing that reminded him, vaguely, of dark things but it brewed strong, hot, and fearless against the beckoning cold of pre-dawn. John pawed a mug from the dishwasher and marvelled for a second at the benign modernity of the moment given what he was about to do. He hoped there wouldn’t be blood this time. It was always harder making it home when he left the site covered in blood. Black bile, ectoplasm, any number of other substances were easier to brush off as Avant-garde in New York. Blood was not one of those substances.

John poured the coffee and let it wash down his throat like a punishment, scalding and bitter and a testament to the fact that he was actually awake. He got dressed in as little time as it took to down another mug and walked out the door without locking it.

___

“G’wed,” he grunted, propping the door open with his foot as he exited the building, vivid logo a sentinel over his shoulder, bagel in hand, a cigarette already between his teeth, free hand digging into the pocket of his coat to find a lighter. He made it a few steps before swallowing thickly in frustration, pressing finger tips to the unlit end and putting a small force of will behind the touch. It smouldered briefly before lighting strong and he inhaled deep, exhaled between the teeth, kept walking.

He knew the route with little issue, wasn’t far enough to require a cab, barely far enough to make it through both a bagel and two fags before he was hopping up the steps, two at a time and walking through the door with a half-assed knock. There was a bed in the corner of the living room, shrouded in dark despite the open windows, the ceiling lights, the antique lamps and fairy lights. She had to be a college student- no more than 19 with her hands and feet bound and her shoulders strained to point of dislocation. Blonde hair sodden through with sweat and blood. The room stank of fear.

He popped the last bite of the bagel between his lips and laid a hand on the pastor’s shoulder in the corner, a growled, “Father,” and a nod of the head by way of acknowledgment. The man crossed himself and John rolled up his sleeves.

_You're doing the right thing_ his thoughts whispered, daring to support him, trying to wrest the doubt and shame away from his grabby hands. 

__

_It isn’t your fault._

__

__

__

John swallowed the bagel, the moment stretching and writhing to fill the space of years. _I'll make it mine._  
With a battle worn grin and made his way to the dark corner, mouth set in a weapon of a grin. “In case you haven’t heard, the name’s Constantine,” he flicked a small book from his pocket and snapped, the ink bleeding back into the pages with a steady crawl, pages of names, identifications, deterrents. He let his eyes rack over the pages, whispering tests with a soft voice until one stuck like a knife in the demons side, expression twisted and dark and pained. Constantine licked his lips, ready for a fight, snapped the book shut and tucked it into his pocket with deft, sharp motions. “Alright then,” he breathed. “Let’s fuckin’ go

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I just wanted to test out the system here. I haven't written fic or fan works at all since about 2006 soooo, have fun with my first post back?  
> I'm not entirely sure how much of my own writing I'd be willing to post (not to mention there REALLY isn't much of it TO post) but I did want to at least be able to figure out how to use the system.
> 
> This was a very brief character study I did aaaages ago for an RP, oops. It was the only character writing I had on hand to post! Please let me know if there are any tags I SHOULD add. I didn't think this qualified for much but I'm always willing to add them if needed.


End file.
